This New Year, Release Yourself (2022)
For anything I think to add to my life, I consider seriously whether it is truly worth doing.
For example, I recently considered applying for “cash back” credit cards. And then I thought just for a moment and realized that in efforts to gain more cashback, I am more likely to spend more. I am more likely to think – I will get some cash back on this purchase anyway, so what harm is there in buying more or getting the more expensive product. As you can see, the goal of saving money can actually result in spending more of it. These companies are not running a charity, so that should not be too surprising.
Similarly, for anything that may take a serious time commitment from me, I tend to think more deeply – will this truly add anything to my life? In efforts to gain some positive outcome, am I just introducing a series of things that bring me dread?
I often find that if I think it through carefully, the things I thought were worth doing, were actually not worth the hassle at all. I feel liberated every time I realize that a task I put on my To-Dos actually isn’t worth doing, and I can just eliminate it.
To put it succinctly…
If you can make $100,000 but it costs your health or mental health, is it worth it?
If you can make 10 friends, but these people are a negative influence and only take and never give, is it worth it?
If you can achieve your dream but must turn your back on your family and friends, is it worth it?
If you can have people love you, but it’s because they don’t understand anything about you (and have their own false conception of you), is it worth it?
We can’t only look at the benefits we may receive, but also need to consider the costs.
So this year, I wonder what we can release ourselves from that just results in waste, problems, and negativity.
This year, can you release yourself from:
Needing to feel superior to others?
Repeating the cycles that have gotten you to the same undesirable point, over and over?
Hoping or wishing, without taking the necessary actions to get where you want to be?
Believing certain thoughts in your mind that have done you no good.
Thinking your way is the only right way.
Feeling that if you have failed at a task or goal, then this makes you a failure.
Chasing the new and shiny thing that someone else says you should want.
Needing to follow or listen to someone else, who likely does not have things figured out as much as it seems they do.
Needing to add more and more to your life, to the point that you are perpetually exhausted and unsatisfied.
The changing tides of emotions that make you unbearably upset. (You may think that others cause you to feel these emotions, but you play a role in it too.)
Overfocusing on the trivial and temporary, and instead allowing yourself to see what actually matters.
Think now: what is the #1 thing worth releasing yourself from?
What will you release yourself from in 2022?
What is that you are sick and tired of from yourself? Is it the excuses, the lack of discipline, the re-creation of the same foolish cycles?
Do these words come to mind?: “New Years Resolution” or “Bucket List” or “Things I Want to Accomplish (But I Secretly Know it Will Never Happen Because I Gave Up).” Perhaps we need to rise above such things.
What I wonder is what it takes for us to be honest with ourselves. What does it take for us to seriously take a look at ourselves and say – “Something went wrong somewhere. What was it?”
What about me, you may say (me, the author). You may think it is easy for me to point the finger at you, but what can I release myself from?
I suppose if I wanted to release myself from something, it would be fear itself.
A few months ago, I began hiking. I bought new shoes and hiking clothes, and I felt ready. But on the first trip into the woods, I got scared. I went to a park with hiking trails that didn’t have any civilization nearby. Then I parked my car in a small lot and walked into the woods. Just a few steps in, I thought – I have no navigation skills, I could get lost here. I wondered if I could survive the night in the woods if needed. The fear was taking over, with irrational thoughts flooding in. But something kept me going.
What I was more uncomfortable with than the fear itself was the idea of letting the fear win over. Despite the feeling of dread that I would get lost and not know my way back, I just kept walking deeper and deeper into the woods. Eventually, I came across a few other hikers. Having seen other humans in the area that didn’t seem scared for their lives helped to put me at ease.
After a short while – I forgot about the fear. I was even beginning to enjoy nature and this pleasant walk.
Ultimately, everything went well on my hiking trip. I spent a couple of hours there, and I found my way back to the car without any problem. At first, the place seemed like a maze, but then I realized that many of the trails split up at certain points and then met up again. It was not so difficult to navigate the area with a bit of attention and focus.
The problem with fear is that if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. You may find yourself scared of not getting the promotion, but the thought of getting it also worries you. Or you may fear distracted drivers on their phones in the daytime, and distracted drivers who had too much to drink in the nighttime. When we really think about fear, it’s hard to get away from it. Perhaps even comically, some of us may fear death, but we also fear to truly live.
It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of fearing things, situations, or even people. Before you think I don’t fear anything – I’m doing fine, keep in mind that anxiety and worry are all a part of it. Fear is quite common – I’m guessing you and everyone you know has some anxiety, worry, and fear affecting their lives.
Similar events as the hiking one I mentioned have played out in my life so many times that I feel foolish for having to relearn the same lesson again and again. If you push through the fear, you often see that there was nothing there even to get scared of. The mind itself overreacts and comes up with thoughts and beliefs that drive us further into fear.
Even if something had gone wrong on my hiking trip, there were other hikers around that could help if I needed it. And my phone had GPS on it if I got lost and needed to find my way back to the parking lot. Of course, even if I had a serious situation come up, I could have called for help with my phone. Even if the things we fear do come true, there is often still a path forward. We just need to keep a level-headed mind. Someone who panics can make even a tame situation into a dangerous one, after all.
Whether fear or something else, I wish you would find something to release yourself from this year. But the reality is that to get to the point of being ready to release ourselves from something, we usually need to get fed up with where we are.
In my case, I was more irritated by the feelings of succumbing to the fear than I was by the fear itself. But who can teach you to get to that point? Who can show you the way? That is the path inside yourself that no one else could reveal.
Surely, for someone who has found contentment in the problems of their lives, they will relive them every year. If they never get fed up, then there is nothing for them to change. And that is simply the nature of things.
And that reminds me of one of the other things I have released myself from. I do not need you to listen, follow, or even agree with my words. I am at peace with whatever effect or non-effect these words may have.
This year, release yourself from one thing, then the other, then the next, and eventually see that you will be free from it all. You will be RELEASED, finding the freedom to be what you always were, in your own nature.
