Finding the Courage to Challenge Yourself

Allow me to take you back to my middle school years (7th and 8th grades). One day toward the end of the year, teachers began handing out this piece of paper with a checkmark on it. On this paper, they decided whether we would take remedial, regular, honors, or advanced classes in high school.

In English class, the teacher checked off that I should take honors level English classes. Great, no problem.

In Science, the teacher checked off that I should take regular level, science classes. I would admit that I had not performed as well as I should have in 8th-grade science. I hadn’t taken it as seriously as I should have. While I often had a B grade, I was probably only performing about average for the class. After class, I spoke with the teacher, and I told her that I thought I could perform well at the honors level. I wasn’t sure if she was truly convinced, but she went ahead and decided to recommend me for the honors level.  Great.

The last class of the day was Algebra. At the beginning of the class, the teacher handed us our sheets of paper. I was shocked at what I saw. I had to read it over and over until it sank in.

The teacher had checked off that I should take pre-algebra in high school. This was quite a surprise because I had already taken pre-algebra in 7th grade, and I was currently in an algebra class. My grades in algebra were around the B+ level, and I was in the top 30% of the class.

I couldn’t focus on the class anymore at that point. I was sweating profusely. I felt mad at first, but then I felt embarrassed. I figured I had been in the class a full year. If the teacher recommended me for pre-algebra, then I guess this was his professional opinion. I had been hoping to take honors algebra, but that seemed quite unlikely now.

In my mind, I started to come up with reasons as to how the teacher could justify recommending me for pre-algebra. Sometimes I had filled out my homework assignments recklessly, not showing my work properly. My exam scores were decent – so I decided the homework must have been the problem. Or maybe I had done something to offend the teacher personally, and I just never realized it. My mind raced, making up possible reasons to explain how my entire future could be derailed by this.

Whether true or not, I felt that if I took pre-algebra in high school, then my college applications would seem laughable. My credentials would not be competitive enough to get into a good school. Of course, on top of this, I was insulted. The teacher was recommending that I go back to a lower level rather than move forward.

The class was almost over already, and I had gone through all this sweating, a spectrum of emotions, self-doubt, and even self-pity. I was so ashamed at the teacher’s recommendation that I had tucked the sheet of paper in my notebook, not wanting anyone to see it.

The class ended, and students were getting up to leave.

It crossed my mind that I should talk to the teacher, but I was a sweating, nervous mess by that point. I didn’t feel like I could talk to him – I didn’t know what I would even say.

Nonetheless, I needed to know why he was doing this to me. At the last moment, I went up to him with the sheet of paper with his recommendation on it.

In the most deflated way, I mumbled:

“Mr. S, I just wanted you to know that I was actually hoping to take honors algebra next year in high school.”

He glanced down at the sheet of paper I was holding with his recommendation.

“Oh my!” he said, realizing that he had checked off pre-algebra.

“That’s not right at all. Of course, you’ve been doing well enough in the class that I think you should handle honors algebra just fine.”

He crossed out his old recommendation and checked off honors algebra.

It was just a mistake, that was all.

This is a really old story if I’m going way back to middle school. It’s not because I have no other stories for you about courage. But it’s because, at that point in my life, it took a lot for me to talk to an adult directly. As a child, I avoided talking to adults whenever I could. It felt intimidating, and usually, I imagined that they would get whatever they wanted in the end. There was no point in getting into an argument with an adult.

What is interesting to me now is that this took not only courage but that I was actually using my courage to ask to be challenged. I was essentially telling my teachers that I didn’t want an easy ride in high school. I wanted them to push me further. Of course, I wanted to be competitive for college, but I also wanted the intellectual challenge for myself.

I never viewed myself as someone with much courage, but things get interesting when you want something badly enough. When you want it, you become willing to speak up and ask for it.

I see many of us moving away from the challenges, being quite happy to have things easy. We tend to feel better about ourselves when we are performing well in easy situations, but it’s important to push yourself harder, perhaps even to your limits at times. When you push yourself harder and harder, you may find that you are capable of much more than you thought.

The true lesson for me here has been the power of believing in ourselves. Although I struggled to believe in myself, and I almost didn’t say anything to my math teacher, ultimately, I had enough belief in my abilities where I felt the need to speak up.

We shouldn’t just be a leaf in the wind, being pushed this way and that by the forces around us. Rather, we should have some input into where our lives go. When we take our life into our own hands, we learn that what we do matters. Our actions can lead us toward something better or away from it. But if we don’t have the courage to live by our own will, then we may never learn that lesson.

Find the courage in yourself to strive for that challenge so that you may become something better. If you are not being pushed or challenged enough, then ask for it. You do not always need rewards to go along with it. The challenge is worth it for its own sake, to have the chance to grow beyond what you thought you could.

Often our true potential is much, much higher than we think it is. When we find the courage to challenge ourselves, we will begin to take steps that can ultimately lead us to greatness.